Another PFM member, Jill, gives a VERY vivid description of just how she evolved… I hope you enjoy!!
The Stuff of Dreams
It was January 1963. Laura and I were living at her mother’s house in St. Joseph, Missouri. I had not had any success getting a job in Ada, Oklahoma, so we needed to postpone college for a while and move to a bigger city where the opportunities for a job were better. We were expecting a child in July, so it was very important to get a good job to support our growing family.
Marlene, my mother-in-law, dressed me down the day before for not trying hard enough to find employment. She said that I was lazy and didn’t appear to want work. At this point, I became all the more determined to get work and move out of her house ASAP.
I have always had the same response to anger, depression or grief. I would escape into my fantasies. My fantasies were unique to me, in that they always involved pretending that I was a woman. When the feeling became especially strong, I found a way to dress in feminine attire. This was never easy, due to the fact that as a bachelor, I had no access to women’s clothing. Now that I was married, I might have access to Laura’s clothes. She, however, was very petite and I was 6’ 2” inches in height.
When I was a teenager, I had the opportunity to baby-sit for a police captain’s family. The wife was a very attractive woman, tall and slender, just like me. When the children were in bed and I knew that they were sleeping, I would go into the master bedroom and carefully take out panties, bra, girdle and a slip. Then, in front of a large mirror, I would put them on. I did this on two occasions.
On the second occasion, I was nearly caught when the police captain and his wife came home early. I had just replaced the clothing to her drawer, very carefully folding them just as I had found them, when I heard the front door. I quickly returned to the couch in the living room and sat down. Fortunately, I was in good physical condition, so I was not breathing heavily when they came into the house.
Until that day in January, although very curious about Marlene’s lingerie, I had respected her privacy and did not enter her bedroom. On one occasion, Marlene had failed to close the door to her room. I was walking through the hall on my way to the bathroom. She was facing away from me and I saw a marvelous sight. She was putting on a
Playtex rubber girdle. I had seen this type of girdle in Sears & Roebucks and Montgomery Wards catalogues, but to see a woman actually putting one on was fantastic. I had worn several of my mother’s girdles, but never found a rubber one in her drawer.
So, on this January morning, still stinging from the ass chewing I had received from Marlene, determination to respect her privacy evaporated in the excitement of the moment. My desire to cross-dress was heightened by the emotion of being berated by a woman. I then determined that I would invade that drawer as soon as I had the opportunity.
The opportunity came the very next day when Laura and her mother decided to go shopping. The moment I declined the offer to go along, my excitement grew, my heart started pounding, knowing that I was going to be able to try on that marvelous girdle.
No sooner had I declined their offer to go along, than I began to feel that excitement. I could almost feel that silky underwear on my body. As soon as I was sure that the car had left the driveway, I was in her bedroom. I opened each of the drawers to her dresser. Most of what I was looking for was in one drawer. I pulled out a cotton pair and nylon pair of white panties and carefully laid them on Marlene’s immaculately made bed. Next, I spotted the Playtex rubber girdle. That moment alone was exciting, as I imagined the tightness of the girdle around my hips.
What I had not noticed when I saw Marlene putting it on was the six garters on the girdle. It seems funny that I didn’t notice that. My explanation has to be that I was looking at how the girdle so deliciously pulled together Marlene’s shapely ass into a well-rounded perfection.
I had noticed that there was several pair of nylons in one of the drawers. My eyes were drawn to the ones with seams in them. I had long admired the effect of seeing a woman wearing hosiery with seams up the back, so I definitely wanted to try the effect on my long slender legs. I knew that there might be some risk of causing a run, but I was too excited to dwell on the matter.
I placed the coveted girdle on the bed and then the nylons. Next, I found about three slips, one of them cotton and the other two of a nylon tricot. I placed the longest of the nylon tricot slips on the bed. Marlene was a very well endowed woman; so finding a smaller bra was impossible. I hurriedly got one of Laura’s bras and it fit perfectly.
. Then I went to Marlene’s closet and saw a couple of print dresses and a black and white polka dot dress. It was the only one longer than the slip I had chosen. I placed that dress on the bed. I realized that there was no way that any of Marlene’s shoes would fit, so I brought out a pair of my oxford shoes.
By this time thirty minutes had passed. I gauged that I had at least another thirty or maybe even ninety minutes before I could anticipate their return, so I quickly showered, using up another ten minutes. The long awaited moment had arrived! I slipped into the white nylon panties. Ooh, did that feel good! I wanted to feel the effect of the panties and slip together, so I put the slip on next. What a totally sexy experience that was!
Now the moment had arrived! The Playtex was ready for my donning. As I pulled it on, my memory flashed back to the unintentional viewing I had experienced seeing Marlene do what I was now doing. Somehow the feeling was a mixture of delight at identifying with her femininity, fear of discovery, and being subservient to her that was ecstatic. I had never put on hosiery before, and twelve garters was a real task to attach. Somehow, with the use of a mirror in her room, I accomplished the feat, not without great enjoyment. I then quickly donned the dress and walked my most feminine walk, wiggling the hips in an exaggerated manner. I looked at the clock. Fifty-five minutes had passed. It felt so good that I just wanted to continue walking, sitting lady like, and bending over to feel the effect of the girdle. I did this for several minutes. I became so enthralled with this activity that I was only aware of the passage of time by the opening of the kitchen door. I was caught. The only way to the bedrooms was by the kitchen. I froze. Laura came in first, with her mother immediately behind her.
There was a long silence that ended with Marlene saying, “Jeff, go sit down in the living room. We will put away these groceries and then I will decide what to do next.”
I did as I was told. Mixed with the very real fear of now being discovered, was the knowledge that I could spend this time of heart-pounding excitement in these same clothes.
There was no apparent conversation between Marlene and Laura as they went about the task of putting away the groceries. When the task was completed, they both entered the living room.
“Jeff, now I want you to go remove those clothes, all but the panties and bra, and place them on my bed. Then I want you to go downstairs and wait. Laura and I have a lot of talking to do.”
I complied with Marlene’s directive, knowing that life for me was about to change abruptly, but not sure whether for the better or worse.
As the two of them talked, I had a lot of time to reflect on the situation that brought me to this place. My first thought was about the fact that my mother wanted a girl when I was born, and even let several people think for a while that I was a girl. She dressed me as a girl quite often when dad was away and when my grandfather was at work. Her mother and she took me out and showed me off as a girl, even dressing me as a girl to a Halloween party at the church.
Next, I recalled a babysitter when I was seven years old. She once lifted up her dress, showed me her lacy panties, and offered for me to wear them. I wanted to very badly, but my brother was there, and I knew he would say something, so I declined. However, I have always fantasized that I took her up on the offer, even to the point of giving me several pair of her panties. I have basically been a panty slave ever since.
I recalled the times in St. Paul, Minnesota when I would measure my waist size, hip size and bust size which in those days closely resembled that of a woman’s curves.
During those days in St. Paul, I met a girl in the apartment downstairs. Because of her I was able to maintain a very active fantasy life. I was fourteen years old and would ask this girl to tie me up with antenna wire. She wanted me to tie her up, so we took turns, but I had no interest in dominating a woman. I began to really enjoy having a woman tell me what to do, while presenting a façade of the macho boy I never really was.
My next experience was having a ninth grade English teacher who challenged me to enjoy literature. In the study of “Great Expectations”, I identified with the boy Pip and pretended that my English teacher was the beautiful ward of Miss Haversham, Estella. Added to this fantasy was the way my English teacher had of putting me in my place in her class, when I spoke out of turn or answered a question without giving the matter sufficient thought.
One day, as I went to the Civilian Club to deliver my last newspaper for the day, I saw this teacher descending a steep stairway. I was beginning to look up her dress, a choice I knew I would pay dearly for, when she slipped. Her 6-inch high heels went out from under her and she landed on her most luscious bottom. She then proceeded to slide down the stairs, her dress riding up higher the further she slid. I savored every second of that moment. When she arrived at the bottom of the stairway, her garters, garter belt and panties were all in full view. Obviously very inebriated, she smiled at me and said, “Hi, Jeffrey.” I immediately helped her to her feet. This was not altogether easy, because of her high heels, her very silky dress and of course, her condition. From that day on, she treated me different in class. Instead of her commanding tone, she was very forgiving of all of my mistakes. I missed her stinging correction of me, because that was what engendered me most to her. After that day, she always called me Jeffrey.
I never had even a cold during the time I lived in Minnesota. I did take sick days, however. I would tell my mother that I was sick. About mid-morning, mom would go next door to visit a neighbor. I would go into her bedroom, put on panties, a girdle and a slip, and prance around. I could see her as she returned from that same bedroom window, so I never needed to fear discovery. The neighbor’s house was a good fifty yards away in snow.
Then there was the police captain’s wife’s clothes, a brief foray into the panty drawer of a construction worker’s wife for whom I babysat and that was it, until now. But this was the first time I was ever discovered. What was to happen now? The meeting upstairs was to determine my future, of that I was sure. Over four hours had passed, when I heard footsteps on the stairs. Laura came to tell me that I was to come upstairs.
“Mother and I have several things that we need to say to you, so it would be very wise of you to keep silence until asked for your opinion or answer.”
As soon as I arrived upstairs, I was commanded to sit on the chair across from the couch. Now, prior to this day, Laura and I had always sat on the couch together and Marlene had occupied the chair. This was a very strong indicator that things had changed.
I sat down in Laura’s bra and Marlene’s panties. The irony wasn’t lost on them, either. Laura said, ” at least he’s wearing my bra ! ” to which Marlene replied, Yes, and my panties! They both laughed very hard and long. I wanted to laugh with them, but thought better of it.
“Now, Jeff, my first response was to see if we could have this marriage annulled. Failing that, I proposed a divorce. But Laura and I have had the best and only real talk we have had in our lives. She reminded me what a tyrant of a husband I had. I was so blind to it that I would not believe her when she told me that George had molested her. Well, I do believe her now, and we have agreed on one major point. A man will not dominate us again. You have shown yourself to be a sissy, a pantywaist. Such a sissy is no danger to either of us.”
“Now, stand up!” Laura produced a camera and began snapping pictures from several different angles, always making sure that my face was in the picture.
“This roll will be kept. You will not have any idea where it is.” If you ever try to dominate your relationship with either of us, well, you can guess the rest.”
Now it was Marlene’s turn, “A number of things will change now, understood?”
“Yes”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, Maam.
“That’s better. Now, starting tomorrow morning, you will look for a job, providing evidence for every attempt. Every day that you fail to find unemployment, you will be punished with a whipping. Since Laura is expecting, I will provide the punishment for now.”
“So that you will know who is really in charge and just what to expect from the two of us when you show any kind of disrespect, and to demonstrate what will happen when you disobey us, I will now apply your leather belt to your bare bottom. Now drop those panties to your ankles and bend over the chair.”
It was then that Marlene began what was to be a long, hard spanking of my bared ass. After about three minutes of sustained spanking, I began to sob uncontrollably. I begged Marlene to stop. She continued the assault until it felt as though there was no skin left on my beleaguered ass. Finally, she stopped.
“Know this, Jeff. Everyday you come home without a job, you will get another spanking like the one you just received. You will be responsible, until further notice, to vacuum the house once a week, clean the bathroom, do the laundry and keep the yard mowed and raked. You will wash the car once a week and hand wash Laura’s and my under things. That part you will like, don’t you think, panty boy?”
“Yes Maam,” I meekly replied.
“Now, repeat back to me your duties.”
With tears streaming down my cheeks, I dutifully repeated all that had been assigned to me.
“And, if you fail to perform all of your duties to our satisfaction, what then, panty boy? Huh?
“I will be punished.”
“I will be punished, what?”
“I will be punished, Maam.”
“Much better! Tomorrow, Laura and I are going shopping again. We will be leaving at 6:00 p.m. At exactly 5:55p.m, you are to be in those same panties and bra by the support beam in the middle of the basement. Since you cannot be trusted alone, you will be chained to that beam until we return. Now, get a lot of sleep. You have a busy day tomorrow, job hunting, which I imagine you will be working very hard at, knowing the consequences of failure.”
I returned to our bedroom, where Laura then applied body lotion to my butchered bottom.
“You know, Jeff, we are doing this for your own good. We have decided that men need to control their basic urges, but need women to discipline them to do so. I do not expect that you will be anything like my father, but we must break your will and bend it to ours. We know far better than you do what is good and healthy for you.”
“I can’t begin to tell you what mother and I finding you here in the dress did for us. Mother never acknowledged that there was any merit to my protestations concerning my father’s behavior. Seeing you in her dress and underwear empowered her in a way nothing else could. She knows that she will have power over you and has lost her fear of men—at least one man. I finally am getting to see what a difficult thing being married to my father was for her. After our four-hour talk, I feel like I have a close friend and sister in my mother. So that you will have no doubts, I agree with everything mother has said to you. For now, know that any breach of trust, and those pictures will be used with your family and friends. The pictures will buy us time to bend your will completely over to ours.”
“I love you more than ever, Jeff! We will be able to have a wonderful marriage when you have completely come to know your place as a subservient husband and son-in-law. We will not be moving out of this house, by the way. Those decisions are no longer yours to make.”
“Now, that spanking really turned me on! You are about to receive some very important instructions on how to please me sexually. You will enter me only when I desire you to do so, not when you wish it. Now, lie back on the bed, face up!”
Laura climbed onto my face, ass cheeks astride, so that my nose was pushed up against her anus and my mouth directly under her *****. She commanded me to lick her there until she was ready to tell me to stop. She rode my face like one would ride a horse, grinding her lovely ass back and forth over my face.
My cock became very stiff. Laura began handling it like one would the saddle horn on a horse as she continued to rub her ass over my face. With every one of her orgasms, her ass cheeks would tighten over my mouth and nose so that I was sure that I would smother. I was never in any danger, but I had never had that loss of control before,.
As my body wriggled under her, my ass, sore from the severe spanking inflicted on me by my mother-in-law, would rub against the freshly starched muslin sheets. The combination of sensation—the lack of control, the soreness on my ass cheeks, and the ass pressed firmly on my face riding back and forth, produced what seemed like a fulfillment of my panty boy longings. It became an ecstasy rather than a torture.
After numerous orgasms, Laura pulled off of me in such a way that I thought she would now sit on my awaiting cock. That was not to happen. Instead, she rolled off of me and lay beside me and, kissing my face, said, “Now you will be able to identify as a woman. Men satisfy themselves at our expense and then roll over and go to sleep. In five months of marriage, this was my first night with an orgasm, and just now I had too many to mention. Wow! You, however, had better wipe off that dick. You aren’t getting any. If I find semen anywhere, I will rip some more at that ass! Understood!”
“Yes, Maam.”
“Yes, Laura, Dear!”
“Yes, Laura Dear.”
I had a fitful night’s sleep and was awakened at 3:00 a.m. by Marlene’s hand on my wrist. She escorted me to the basement, chained me to the beam, stuffed some nylon panties in my mouth and tied a length of hosiery around my face to hold the panties firmly in place.
“Just look at what you little escapade did to my hose! There is a run in one of the stockings! The muffle is so that we do not disturb Laura. If she awakens from this outing, you will be the one to suffer. Now you will get another spanking, bend over!
I would never have believed that Marlene could or would inflict a worse spanking than I had received that afternoon, but I was wrong. This time the tears came sooner and lasted much longer. Her swats seemed stronger and faster and seemed to never end. The panties were soon soaked with my tears and a large puddle formed on the floor. There could not be any doubt as to whom I belonged. These two women were my superiors in strength and cunning.
“I don’t ever want to see another run in any of my stockings. Since you will be hand washing them, be forewarned. Do you understand?
“Yes, Maam.”
“Now, off to bed with you, panty boy!”
![[pubjeff.jpeg]](http://bp0.blogger.com/_n5sVe3ilkKw/R5aZHDnILSI/AAAAAAAAAUA/CHFFpyTwk_I/s1600/pubjeff.jpeg)